Crossword Puzzle

• Do you know your Sacraments?

Try your hand at an old style jigsaw puzzle with a twist. Have no fear that Aunt Millie might scramble your pieces while straightening up the house. There are only 49 puzzle pieces and there's no board or table to knock over. Should be a breeze with only 49 pieces. Think again! Distinguishing one piece from another is no easy task. Some puzzle pieces look the same, with only subtle differences in color and shading. There are features provided to help you solve the puzzle. Click the link below and have fun.

 Our Blessed Mother

 Coloring Books

• Old Testament Characters
• Jesus' Ministry
• Epic Events of the Bible

• Need Help?  A middle-aged woman convinced her husband to attend a couples retreat. At the first session, the facilitator said, "The fact is, no matter how long we've been married, there are many things we don't know about each other. For example, how many of you husbands can name your wife's favorite flower? "The husband smiled knowingly, put his hand on his wife's knee, and said, "It's Pillsbury All-Purpose, right?"
• Christian Bear One day a priest decided to skip church and go hunting. In the woods he came upon a bear. He started running, and he ran for a while until all of a sudden he tripped over a tree root. At this moment he was almost face to face with the bear. He dropped to his knees and said, ''Dear Lord, if there is one wish I would want for you to give me it would be to make this bear a Christian.'' And at that instant the bear stopped in his tracks and dropped to his knees and said, ''Dear Lord, thank you for the food I am about to receive!''
• Stolen Goose  Confessor: I have stolen a fat goose from a poultry yard! Priest: That is very wrong. Confessor: Would you like to accept it, Father? Priest: Certainly not- return it to the man whom you stole it from. Confessor: But I have offered it to him and he won't have it. Priest: In that case you may keep it yourself. Confessor: Thank you, Father. The Priest arrived home to find one of his geese had been stolen.
• A boy at church  There was a boy and he was at church with his mom. The boy said, "Mommy, I have to go pee." His mom said, "Don't say pee in church, say whisper." The next day the boy was at church with his dad. The boy said, "Dad, I have to whisper." His dad said, "Whisper in my ear."
• Who should make coffee?  Wife: Father, will you help me explain to my husband that the bible says that women should not make coffee? Priest: Where did you see that written? Wife: Right here, it says “He brews!”
• Communication
  A woman went to see a priest about her pending divorce.
  He asked, "What are your grounds?"
  She replied, "About two acres, and a nice little house in the middle and a stream running by". "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
  "It's made of concrete, brick and mortar", she responded.
  "I mean", he said, "What are your relations like?"
  The woman said, "I have an aunt and an uncle living here in town, and my husband's parents".
   Becoming frustrated, the priest asked, "Do you have a real grudge?"
  "No," she replied, "Just a two-car carport."
  "Ma'am", he tried again, "Is there fidelity in your marriage?"
  "Well, both my son and daughter have stereos", she replied "Though we don't really like that noise they call music".
  The priest sighed. "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
  "Yes", she responded, "About three times a week he gets up before me and makes breakfast".
  Finally, in frustration, the priest asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce"?" Oh, I don't want a divorce", she replied. "I never wanted one. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me"
• Modernizing  The elder priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "I know you were reaching out to the young people when you had bucket seats put in to replace the first four pews. It worked. We got the front of the church filled first." "So," asked the young priest, "what's the problem?" "Well," said the elder priest, "I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru confessional." "But Father," protested the young priest. "My confessions have nearly doubled since I began that!" "I know, my son, but the flashing neon sign 'TOOT 'N' TELL OR GO TO HELL' has to go."
• Quiet in church  On the way to church, mom asked her children: "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" A bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping"
• Golf Problem  One day a golfer had such a problem getting the golf ball out of the sand trap. The golfer told his partner that he would move heaven and earth to get the ball out. His partner replied "Try heaven you already moved earth."
• St. Paul's 3rd Letter to the Corinthians  The Way Named Straight                                                                             Tarsus, Province of Syria
  My Dear Corinthians: I, Paul, by the will of God an Apostle, having written twice to you on several matters of great importance now find myself compelled to write a third time. I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it any more. SHAPE UP!--Paul, by the grace of God, Apostle to the Gentiles
• Priest: “Where is God?”              Boy:  “In my bathroom.”
  Priest: “He’s everywhere, but why do you mention your bathroom specifically?” Boy: “Because every morning my father paces outside our bathroom and pounds on the door screaming, My God! When are you gonna finish in there?”
• Persistence Pays   An overweight business associate of mine decided it was time to shed some excess pounds. He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favorite bakery. One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic coffeecake. We all scolded him, but his smile remained cherubic.
  This is a very special coffeecake, he explained. I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed: Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious coffeecakes, let me have a parking place directly in front of the bakery. And sure enough, he continued, the eighth time around the block, there it was!
• Hans Grapje was raised in a Catholic school in The Hague and as a young man aspired to become a priest. However, he was drafted into the Army during WWII and spent two years co-piloting B17s until his aircraft was shot down in 1943, resulting in the loss of his left arm.  Captain Grapje spent the rest of the war as a military chaplain, giving spiritual aid to soldiers,  both Allied and enemy.
  After the war, he became a priest, serving as a missionary in Africa, piloting his own plane (in spite of his handicap) to villages across the continent.
  In 1997, Father Grapje (now an Archbishop) was serving in Zimbabwe when an explosion in a silver mine caused a massive cave-in trapping scores of miners deep in the earth. Archbishop Grapje went down into the mine to administer comfort and last rites to those too severely  injured to move. While underground another shaft collapsed and he was buried for three days,  suffering multiple injuries, including the loss of his right eye. Some time after being rescued, he developed a severe (but rare) condition known as purpura. This condition is the result of  extensive underground time and exposure to the high silver content in the mine's air. It is  characterized by purplish skin blotches and is found in many life-long silver miners. For his  heroism and selfless service to others, the church elevated him to Cardinal.
  Although Cardinal Grapje devoted his life  to the service of God as a scholar, mentor and holy man; church leaders agree he will never ascend to the Papacy.
  After all, no one wants a one-eyed, one-armed, flying purple Papal leader.